Getting Better Results in Life — The Reverse Rabbit Hole

Back when I started working as a counselor in an opiate addictions clinic, I spent a lot of time early in the conversation discussing the foundation of how things got funky and how to get better results in life.

Where did it all go wrong? How can I change? etc…

I gave the process a name: The Reverse Rabbit Hole. Why did I do this? Well I found that naming stuff is pretty helpful as it allows the concept to stick and in the future, an easy way to reference back to the concept.

So here we are, the person was struggling with addiction (can be used for other funkiness in life). I’d often try to keep this a little light and inject some humor (more on that later)… I’d go like, “Hey when you were in 1st or 2nd grade and someone asked you want you wanted to be when you grow up…the answer wasn’t a heroin addict! Right?” A laugh usually happened right about here…

Here’s a version of the image I’d draw during this discussion…I’d typically draw circles and start with the letting R on the right side, then draw arrows going ‘backwards up the results rabbit hole.’ The stage is set…now let’s get at it.

So, starting from the right, going to the left…

R stands for Results…

…as that’s where we find ourselves now.

What comes before Results?

Action comes before results.

You know, the stuff you did that you shouldn’t have…or the stuff you should have done, that you didn’t…or that time when no action was the best course to take. And well, sh*t didn’t quite work out right.

Anyways….. So, just change your actions and you’ll get different results!!!!

Right?

Wrong…there’s more to it.

If it were that easy, you wouldn’t be reading this, and the world of coaches, mentors, therapists, counselors, etc… would all be out of business.

Ok, so what comes before actions?

Thoughts and Feelings.

You think about something a certain way then you feel a certain way, which leads to your taking an action (or not).

Ok, so JUST change your thoughts and feelings, which will then allow you to change your actions, then you can have different results!!!

Right?

Wrong…there’s more to it.

So this is as DEEP down the rabbit hole I could dig, to get at the root of change. If you know a deeper dig, holler at me! :-)

So, there are three Ps, that I want you to know about as tools of change. The middle one in the image above, is the biggest but the very first small one is called…

Pause

If you can’t pause, even briefly, prior to that (T/F/A/R) loop to kick in, you have little to no shot at changing that pattern.

As you may have noticed in life, you keep getting presented similar situations and you typically respond in the same way whether you like the outcome or not…it just triggers a response/reaction.

The big P that I want to sell you on is this:

Perspective!

Your insight, your view, etc. When you EXPAND your perspective…at that point you may be able to think and feel differently about a situation which will allow you to possibly take a more skillful action, or none at all. And when you can begin to do this, you can start getting different results in life.

The third P in this drawing stands for a ‘peaceful’ or prayerful setting. I encourage daily or at least very regular mindfulness/meditation, perspective enhancing exercise. Make one up if you like. Doesn’t really matter how you start, just start.

How would a third party disinterested person look at this situation? How does the other party or institution think or feel about this topic? etc etc etc

So now that I have you possibly sold on the idea that you need to enhance your perspective after pausing…to begin this process of getting different results…you might be saying:

“Great Mitchell, I’m sold on the idea that I need to enhance my view…so how exactly do I do that?!”

I’m glad you asked!

I do have a training on this and may write another article just on this topic for you. If you’re interested, hit me up at https://majeq.com/perspective/ and I’ll give you the video and training on this. It’s what I like to call:

Perspective/Insight Enhancement (PIE) – Going Wide & Inside

Basically the cliff notes are: take the subject and look at it from as many different angles as possible. Really dig in! It’s a powerful way to change how you feel about and look at things. Worth the ride.

bis später!

Sean